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Loneliness, curable by no others but oneself
2013년 03월 04일 (월) 16:10:34 Ewha Voice evoice@ewha.ac.kr
   
Chin Hye-ji
(Business, 3)

Dear students of Ewha, are you lonely? Is it not hard for you to say, “No, I am not lonely,” all the time?
Loneliness visits us when it is least expected. Whether somebody has a lot of people besides them or not, they are still prone to loneliness.
Loneliness has been noticeably increasing in our society. We can see the trend in mass media, like the talk show “Healing Camp,” or the song Healing e pilyohae, which means healing is needed. It is in plain sight that many people need healing from people, work, school, and lots of other aspects. People are hurt and lonely. We are living in a time of solitude in the crowd.
In truth, we are bound to be lonely. One would try to solve this loneliness with many things, such as watching television shows, eating comfort food, or even by looking for romance, but does it solve the problem? It may help relieve the problem, but it is simeply a painkiller. It does not necessarily help to solve the core cause.
Lovers, for example, are very sweet to be with at first. But they fight, burn with jealousy, and finally, when they do not love each other anymore, they cling to the memories of love that is long gone. These will make us suffer more. Our quench for loneliness cannot be solved by other people or things.
Our mind is the root of our loneliness. We make our own barriers, the barriers of self-alienation, and this is the reason for our loneliness. We are afraid to be left out, to be left alone, and so we withdraw ourselves and become lonely, as a defense mechanism. Loneliness can be seen as the result of selfishness, of deep love for oneself.
Then how do we escape from our loneliness? It is hard to do. The only way is to become steady, without the fear of alienation, but who can do that?
No one can do that completely, though it is really important to try. So there is only one way left for us. Become friendly with loneliness. Endure it. Do something useful with it.
You can be very productive with your solitude. With other people around, it is hard to do something to improve yourself. Concentrate on what you want to do in the time of solitude. Become professional in the area of your interest. Do not waste your time, especially empty class time during classes. There is much to do. With a lot of things to do, there would be less time to realize one’s loneliness.
Also, try to find out why you are feeling lonely and alienating yourself. There would be some way to ease that loneliness, that feeling of solitude.
Do not loath in self pity, and try to get out. Big steps are hard. Try, with little steps at a time. If you feel as though someone does not like you, go to someone else, or just do not be around them. Life is precious. Time of someone’s life is limited. Do not do something that is foolish and would not benefit yourself and your mentality. It will be hard to take the first step, but I assure you, there is much to enjoy when you take that baby step and look around.
To many fellow students, the independent traditions of Ewha may be discouraging and hard to adjust to. But do not think about this as a disadvantage. Make this a chance. Have some time with yourself. Become skilled in your areas of interest and if needed, do something to ease that loneliness. Enjoying loneliness and loathing it is different.
It is a new semester now, and a perfect time to do something new.

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