Kang Minju
Department of Content Convergence
Stepping into my freshman year, I warmly welcomed the beginning of my university journey and I hardly found myself struggling with a sense of unfamiliarity or disconnection that most of my friends were going through. However, as time passed, my serene sense started to waver, leaving me with a profound realization of the challenges that lay ahead.
I found it difficult to fully acknowledge the existence of my struggles because the consequences did not appear in the form of grades. Instead, it appeared throughout my daily life in different forms and physical symptoms.
For instance, by participating in all the available activities that piqued my interest, I did not have enough spare time to efficiently schedule a private lesson with my tutoring students nor did I have leisure time for myself.
In addition, I did not have any kind of specific dream. Therefore, I was pressured with anxiety to live up to my parent’s expectations. Also, considering the expensive tuition fee they procured for my enrollment in Ewha, I had to do well no matter what.
Under such pressure and negative circumstances, I tried to make the most out of it. I began recording all the achievements I have earned. The point of this recording was to make my process visible. This method seemed to have a positive effect on my mental health since it motivated me to attempt other activities or challenges.
Concerning motivation and passion, my friends also claimed that they have also gone through similar experiences - they enjoyed the thrill of competition and taking on multiple projects simultaneously.
Considering that I am an introvert who became a bigger introvert over the past two years of the pandemic, it was surprising to find myself actively seeking out activities.
Initially, I thought I would thrive in the tranquility of university life thanks to quarantine. However, to my surprise, I encountered numerous challenges which I have never expected.
For instance, during the pandemic period, I struggled with assignments and group projects, failing to properly manage my time, and feeling anxious about the consequences of even the slightest mistakes. This anxiety carried over into subsequent tasks, hindering my ability to concentrate fully.
To cope with this, I resorted to setting multiple alarms and meticulously planning my schedule. But, even within the confines of my carefullycrafted timetable, I found it difficult to enjoy the scattered moments of rest. I experienced heightened anxiety even while watching YouTube, as my heart raced uncontrollably.
Even worse, the struggle with anxiety seemed to extend beyond academics. Social interactions became a source of unease, with the fear of not meeting others' expectations and the constant need to be punctual. It felt as though I was on edge sometimes, living with the possibility of developing an anxiety disorder.
As time passed, consequently, me and my friends all found ourselves struggling. With the intense competition and anxiety. Some chose to take a break from university for a while, while others fell ill or opted for a more relaxed state in their junior year. Even I dropped my course during the semester. From this experience, I learned that it is okay to throw out some burdens and quit some things when one is struggling far more than one can withstand.
In conclusion, the university journey can be fraught with anxiety. The pressure to excel academically, the fear of making mistakes, and the overwhelming demands of daily life can have a significant impact on one's mental well-being.
It's important to recognize the limitations of self-imposed schedules and strive for a balance that prioritizes mental and emotional health. Seeking support from friends, family, and available resources can also prove beneficial.
Remember, university is not solely about achieving results but also about personal growth and self-discovery. I didn't realize this simple and everlasting truth until I was a senior in college.