The social roots of toxic masculinity
Toxic masculinity is a term used for a set of attitudes and behavior that society often imposes as stereotypes of men. The typical “macho” man or “alpha” male as distributed and sensationalized by the mainstream media can be seen as examples of this term.
According to a 2018 research project by Robert P. Jones for the Public Religion Research Institute titled “Diversity, Division, Discrimination: The State of Young America,” three in four young people answered that societal pressure exists for men to act in traditionally masculine ways.
The research found through a survey conducted on American young adults that half carried societal pressure to conform to conventional notions of masculinity, limiting the type of friendships men can have with other men. In particular, 46 percent of young people said it encourages sexually aggressive behavior while just as many agreed that it encourages homophobic attitudes. Furthermore, 43 percent of young people said that pressure to act in ways considered masculine encourages violent behavior in general.
Y. Joel Wong, PhD, a professor of counseling psychology at Indiana University Bloomington, and colleagues found that overall, “men who conformed to traditional masculine norms had higher rates of mental health problems such as depression, anxiety and stress, and lower rates of positive mental health outcomes, such as life satisfaction, self- esteem and psychological well-being,” according to their 2016 study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology.
We currently live in an age in which social media is considered essential in daily life, especially for the younger generation. According to data published in April 2021 by the Pew Research Center, 84 percent of America’s 18 to 29-year-olds are active on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and other social media platforms.
Although social media provides a virtual platform that fosters creativity and enables young adults to connect with diverse people, it can adversely impact the mental health of youth through peer pressure.
Candice Biernesser, a post- doctoral scholar in the psychiatry department at the University of Pittsburgh’s Institute for Cyber Law, Policy, and Security in Pennsylvania, warned in an interview with Everyday Health that social media can lead to “negative peer influence that encourages risky behaviors and feeds self-criticism.”
Within our digital age, what role do these toxic ideals of masculinity play in young people’s daily lives?
Toxic masculinity in the day-to-day lives of university students
One might think that the fights for gender equality and acceptance of diverse people would have lessened the social pressures of toxic masculinity. However, this assumption disregards the leverage social media holds over the younger generation in the current digital era.
Lee Chae-yeon, a freshman majoring in fiber art, shared her experience with toxic masculinity as a female Korean student.
Lee said that she considered most misogynistic behaviors from men that are often excused by an “I-know-better” attitude to be the definition of toxic masculinity. Although used as a joke on the internet usually by young men, she expressed her concern that toxic masculinity seems to be on the rise as an issue serious yet still too sensitive to touch on.
Although she has not yet had an alarming encounter with toxic masculinity in her life, Lee recalled her interactions with a male friend who always took his time to “mansplain” everything to her, as if by default she would not know as much as he did on the topics he wished to discuss with her.
“At first, I was very offended and appalled that he would think me so stupid,” Lee said. “But as his mansplaining continued, it made me very self-conscious and less confident, and I began to worry that I actually came off as unintelligent to people around me.”
As the main culprit of the proliferation of toxic masculinity, Lee named social media, especially for the younger generation easily swayed by everything they see online.
“Toxic masculinity is generalized, idolized, commercialized, and frankly, even sexualized by social media,” Lee emphasized. “Men are not the main target anymore, as many women can be pushed into thinking that dominant, bordering- on-abusive men are attractive without realizing they are feeding into the ideals of toxic masculinity.”
Lucy Bollinger, a freshman student from the Division of International Studies, offered her perspective on toxic masculinity as an American student studying abroad.
Bollinger mused that she would define toxic masculinity mainly as traits associated with male behavior that stem from patriarchal standards for men. However, she emphasized that these standards not only oppress the male gender, but also the female gender as a natural byproduct.
“Because we live under a patriarchal world, toxic masculinity created the standard for unhealthy behavior in men and increased pressure to perform stereotypical gender roles for everyone,” Bollinger explained. “When the choice is taken away by societal pressure, it leads to a dangerous and damaging lifestyle for all people, regardless of gender.”
Bollinger confessed that she had encountered toxic masculinity in her personal life on multiple occasions, often in the form of watching men giving up their true passion because it would not appear to be as “manly” as the society expects them to be.
Bollinger also noted it is not only men who encourage toxic masculinity, but also women. Because most people are unaware exactly how they are imposing these toxic standards on the men around them, they tend to make passive, unwitting comments that create unhealthy and unrealistic standards. This results in toxic masculinity becoming either a trained response or a forced performance men do for spectators under social pressure.
She warned that even before social media, the values of toxic masculinity are often taught and normalized in our homes, through children’s books and movies, how parents interact with each other, or the way adults educate their children, long before we near the age of maturity.
On the role of social media, Bollinger mused that the most frightening aspect is the algorithm, because it continuously feeds similar content to keep the viewers interested, luring people into thinking that the only type of information they are being shown is the absolute truth.
“I think on the better side of social media, a lot of wonderful work is being done to combat toxic masculinity and show men, through the example of other men, that they have a choice of how to behave,” Bollinger admitted. “On the other side of it, however, it is a slippery slope to extreme radicalism which is prominent in my home country, America, and now everywhere else around the world.”
From the male perspective on the topic, Ethan Challender, a sophomore at King’s College London, shared his experiences and outlook on toxic masculinity.
In Challender’s eyes, toxic masculinity is the idea that men must be the dominant gender and “man up” under all circumstances. He voiced his concern that these ideals are tarnishing the idea of masculinity itself, due to the misinterpretation and misrepresentation of men everywhere.
“To be masculine is not to be the most fearless, strongest, and the least emotional, but to protect those you care about, actively try to make those around you feel safe, confidently stand up for what you believe in, and express whatever emotion you feel without worrying about putting your identity in jeopardy,” he said. “An action need not be strictly masculine or feminine, as many ideas regarding basic human decency should obviously be reciprocal.”
In his childhood, Challender recalled that even when he and his sister had gone through the same situation, he was not encouraged to show emotion or speak up and instead felt pressured to feel sympathy for his sister. As a result, he often had difficulty opening up to his family about his concerns. He felt that the lack of reassurance that it is okay to have emotions, combined with the aggressive parenting style of many fathers, is inducing anxiety in many people as it did in him.
Derived from his experiences, Challender felt that even when men make a conscious effort to become emotionally intelligent and mature, many lack emotional availability and depth due to the ingrained lessons society has taught them their whole lives.
Through social media, Challender pointed out that many men constantly act in unforgivable misogynist ways, including some of those with the biggest platforms on the internet.
Due to the actions of said men, Challender noted that there are also many forms of retaliations from women on social media, rightfully angry perhaps due to their past experiences. However, he warned against the generalization of the entire male gender, which could trigger more conflict and toxicity amongst both genders as a result.
Challender believed that on the other hand, social media and media in general can also spread the ideas of positive masculinity.
“Many young men who do not necessarily have fitting father figures in their lives take their first male role model from the media,” Challender admitted. “The media, in some cases, can teach us to be better than actual people in our real lives.”