With the rise of individualism, some say that people these days tend to compare each other less than before. However, in a world where you can peak into the lives of others online through YouTube vlogs and Instagram feeds, it is still not easy to keep your own standards and live an “absolute” life, where your values are wholly based on yourself.
Throughout my high school days in Korea, where I was luckily accepted into one of the most competitive ones in the country, minutes and seconds were full of competition. Whatever subject I took or activity I was part of, despite my original thoughts of joining for my own good, I always ended up competing with my classmates without even questioning why. Being accepted into the “best college,” or at least one’s “dream college” was what the society perceived as successful, and I gradually became emerged into the trend.
Entering Ewha, I could not stop setting these comparative standards. Of course, it was not as bad as in high school, but somehow I always ended up comparing myself to those around me. The number of courses I took each semester, the extra curriculars I was part of, and whether I had a solid plan for the next 10 years to make as much money as my peers would filled my mind.
Spending my first two years at college with such a competitive mindset, what was left after finishing my sophomore year was not much. Despite what I had done and achieved for the past two years, and the “solid” plans I had for my remaining semesters at Ewha and further on, I could not see where I was going. Spending the last 10 or more years comparing myself, and of course, being compared to by all those around me, I started to doubt what I wanted to do, and what I actually enjoyed doing.
At the start of the year, I had a great opportunity to visit Vientiane, Laos as part of a volunteer program. Along with a group of some 20 university students, I spent 10 days in the city, leading education programs for middle school students on the English language as well as cultural diversity, environment issues, and the SDGs, also painting and fixing up some school buildings. Not only did we enjoy socializing with each other, but the most memorable moments for all of us was the relationship built between us and the local students.
Although middle school students, I remember them being energetic and innocent more like younger children. So bright and welcoming, I still cannot forget the clear smiles on them when me and my teammates first entered the school gate. Clinging on to our shirts throughout the whole day, and many of them sobbing when our bus left the school at the end of the day, my 10 days at Vientiane were unforgettable, thanks to all the students.
Leaving Vientiane and coming back to Korea mid-January, I did not only take back the accomplishment of the successful project. Picturing the energy of love and joy from the children back in Laos, what mattered to them was not the difference in GDP, or how fast or slow the Internet in each country was. Of course, though children, they may have been aware of the difference between developed and underdeveloped countries. However, it had nothing to do with how happy they were with their lives, and how our project made them smile brighter.
Coming back to the story of comparing and competition, what the volunteer project at Vientiane taught me was not only achievement and the virtue of sharing. I can confidently say that I am ready for a year without comparing or competition, but rather thinking of what I have and am thankful for. Just like how the children at Vientiane kept their bright smiles, now I am ready to keep my smiles up and look into myself instead of others, hoping this year does the same to you all.