Saya Ichiyoshi/Cheong Park
Division of International Studies
“Which country are you from?”
Most people can answer this question smoothly. However, I cannot. I have thought about the answer to the question more frequently since I came to this university. I am not annoyed with being asked the question, but I am just annoyed with not being able to answer this question in simple, clear sentences.
My nationality background does not seem complicated at first glance. My mother is Korean, and my father is Japanese. I was born in Korea. When I was young, I went back and forth between Japan and Korea. After that, I lived in Japan until I came to this university. I spent 12 years in Japan from elementary school to high school. These 12 years are enough to forget Korean significantly. That is why if I speak Korean, people notice that I am a foreigner, and I am asked the question above.
Now I have two nationalities, Japan and Korea. I have to choose one or the other in the future. If I choose one, will I not answer my nationality smoothly? Even if I could legally limit myself to one nationality, I can never categorize myself as either Japanese or Korean.
Even though I lived most of my life in Japan, I cannot identify myself as fully Japanese. Having lived in Japan, I felt different from my surroundings in many situations. When I talk with friends, and the subject starts with Japanese, I could not agree with what they say. At the time, I always felt that I did not have a sense of belonging, which most of my friends have.
On the other hand, when I consider my identity as Korean, there is always the memory of my family. I have been to Korea over and over again, and interacted with family who live in Korea. And above all, the most significant element to fostering my own Korean identity is my mother, who was closest to me on my own. I learned Korean culture before I was old enough to distinguish between Korea and Japan. I took it all for granted. However, I know I am not Korean at the same time because I have never even lived in Korea. My Korean is not fluent. I am neither Japanese nor Korean, although I have both Japanese and Korean roots.
Therefore, it is very difficult for me to talk about my nationality in simple words. I sometimes get confused because of the identity crisis and the dilemma of which nationality I should have. I still cannot find an accurate answer.
Under Japanese law, if one of your parents is Japanese, you are simply considered Japanese. And I have encountered many situations where many people see themselves as just Japanese. Many times, I experienced conversations with friends in which they proceeded on the assumption that I was Japanese. My Korean identity, which has been built up since my childhood, is easily ignored. My own Korean identity could easily be lost, even if I cherish it.
If so, what kind of things determine our identity? The passport which we have? Duration of residence in the country? How fluent you can speak the language? For me, the lack of language ability is the very barrier to keeping my identity because it prevents me from understanding smoothly. On the other hand, my mother — of course, her native language is Korean — sometimes felt her identity as Korean is unstable. Since Korea has changed dramatically, she feels alienated even when she goes back to her hometown.
These identity problems are complex and different between each person. Just a simple name is not enough to explain ourselves. Such words fade our true identity and mislead others. That is why language has the role to explain any complexity.
Currently, there is a tremendous amount of information. Although it is very important to understand something concisely, we have to contemplate simplified matters in the context. Not to the important things that make us who we are invisible to others and to ourselves.