Living in a city outside Seoul, I commute a long distance to Ewha when the traffic is the worst. I transfer from a Red Bus to bus number 470 getting straight to the Education Building. Generally, when I try to transfer to the bus, it is already jam- packed with commuters who are heading to offices located near Gwanghwamun. I was accustomed to fitting myself in as much as I can to get to school on time. It was a routine to me, and I never hesitated to do that since I never thought it might put me in danger.
However, on the first Monday since Oct. 29, I did not dare to get on the crowded bus 470 for the first time. I was pretty much horrified at the bus. It reminded me of the deadly crowd crush that happened last Oct. 29 at Itaewon. I could not help but just let the bus gobyandsitonabenchtocalm myself down. Although I am not a victim of the disaster, nor know any of the victims personally, the disaster hit me hard as I watched the whole scene of the disaster being broadcasted via TV throughout the night. Just like all the other citizens, I was listening to the news with a feeling of extreme helplessness and despair, and I realized at some point that night, we Koreans had a similar experience in 2014.
On April 16, 2014, the Sewol ferry sunk in the sea off Jindo island, and over 300 passengers died or went missing. All citizens hang in front of the TV, waiting for the news of any rescue. The wait continued for three to four days, hoping someone alive in the “air pocket,” a trapped air layer formed in the wreckage, and be rescued miraculously. However, the hope turned into despair and ended up with helplessness. Miserably, the series of emotional experiences were repeated on Oct. 29.
The two disasters were alike in other aspects as well. A number of signals that preannounced the disasters were unheeded, the control tower failed to grasp the disasters and provide prompt rescue support, and former manuals to deal with such disasters were useless. Media also poured out conspiracy theories related to the case, and some citizens blamed victims or scapegoated. Most notably, the government tried its hardest it can to escape from the responsibility of disasters.
Although my mourning has not stopped yet, I believe it is time to socially discuss how we can prevent such disasters with social solidarity. Citizens should urge the people in charge for establishing the cause of the accident - particularly in how the system of preventing and dealing with disasters failed.
As a student who still wants to work in journalism and is working as a reporter for Ewha Voice, I also consider the proper way to deal with social disasters. It is clear that getting too emotional about a disaster is useless and hinders delving into the case. Still, I believe that my emotional turbulences toward the disaster can be helpful in some respects. Even if my compassion and emotions can harm me or dies down soon, I believe some will lead to solidarity to make a real difference. The series of disasters might not just vanish from people’s memories, but reach the understanding that John Donne explained in his poetry “No Man is an Island.” Thinking of someone’s unhappiness is mine, we must be on each other’s side to keep our society safe. I cannot ensure that I will become a journalist in the future, but I will keep reacting unusually emotionally to social disasters whatever I become. Most of all, I will strive to develop those emotions into actual changes in our society.