Books that teach their readers to ?o whatever it takes to fulfill your passion?sell well?o well that they have been topping bestseller lists since the late 1990s. But the portion of these so-called self-improvement books written for and marketed to young women  draw too much of a bloody, competitive and negative view of the world. Their messages are often ones like this: ?f you don? have the looks, try plastic surgery for an edge in work and in finding a better partner.?The world they define in the name of ?ealism?is neither a spiritually nor a politically correct one where working hard and valuing other people for their goodness should be enough to make it in life.
   Lessons usually given from these books tell their target readers to shape themselves into aggressively goal-oriented, attractive, selfish, smart, and feisty ?arriors.?Such messages may be captivating for many young women and their motivating emotional effect may even lead them to reach some of their goals. However, success earned with a ?arrior?personality won? last long because it is a personality neither men nor other women will want to live with in the end.
   Being a ?arrior?may seem charismatic and powerful at first sight but it is also a distorted image of a leader who cannot embrace others. A better way might be acknowledging that the soft power traditionally seen as existing within women is not a weakness, but an optimal means to end this gender conflict in the workplace, and even at home.
   The mother of the bride in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Maria Portokalos, is a good model. She always knew how to convince her husband by making him think her idea was his idea too. She explains this in only two sentences: ?he man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.?This may be a softer approach but it is a wiser approach to decision making than conflict or confrontation and it eventually places the decision maker who uses her soft power in a more powerful position.
   According to a business scholar  James Champy, the leadership style of the future will be the ?eminine style,?characterized by cooperation, participation, sharing of power, and enhancing the self-worth of others. In a new business world, ?eminine and caring leaders?are desirable and women should know that women are the original holders of such leadership qualities.
   Organizations with long-term and futuristic insight are already granting or planning to grant more opportunities for people with a ?eminine leadership?style, which means higher chances for women to qualify for more managerial positions. Filter out the books that teach you to become a ?arrior?wrapped up in egoistic thoughts and search for true self-improvement books that show you how to turn your neck softly towards the direction you want to look in.
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